Neville Longbottom Gets Even
by Evil Genius Girl
Summary: What would happen if Neville ever got truly angry at Snape?


Neville Longbottom Gets Even

Author: Catherine

Rating: PG (The Wrath of Snape)

Classification: Slightly twisted humor, character leaving

Summary: Professor Snape goes too far in a Potions class, and Neville decides that he is tired of dealing with it.

Neville Longbottom was desperately trying to remember the list of ingredients for the Shrinking Potion that Professor Snape had assigned. Neville always tried to do well, but so far, he had managed to leave out a key step in every single Potions assignment this year. _It's probably because Snape makes me so nervous_, he thought, _the way he just stares at people. And that horrible hair! If he would just wash it occasionally, maybe it wouldn't reflect the light so brightly_.

"Longbottom!" barked Snape, his glare as menacing as ever. "Have you managed to ruin this assignment already? "

"P-Please, s-sir," stammered Neville. "May I use my book for this one? I can't remember the final ingredient."

"Of course you may not use your book!" thundered Snape, his face going nearly green with outrage. "There is a reason that this is called a test!" He turned on his heel, swishing his robes as he stalked over to show Goyle the instructions printed on his "study aid". Goyle sometimes had difficulty understanding even the most clearly explained cheat sheets, even when they were read aloud to him.

Neville glared at him, his usually round and rosy face turning even rosier with embarrassment. _It's not fair. Why does he always help the Slytherins? Why doesn't anyone else have trouble remembering the directions?_

At the end of Potions, Neville practically ran out of the dungeons. He was already plotting his revenge on Snape. Ordinarily he would never even dream of causing trouble in a class (the most recent Howler from his grandmother had fixed that), but he was sick of Snape constantly picking on him and making him feel even stupider than he already was. However, he was having some difficulty thinking of anything truly mean to do to Snape. He decided to ask Fred and George Weasley for help.

"You're going to do **what**?" George asked in awe. "We've never done anything to a teacher before, if you don't count the Canary Cream that Filch found. It wasn't our fault that he thought it was for him."

"Well, yeah," said Neville, "but I'm not asking either of you to do anything but help me figure out what to do. I'll do all of the work."

"I guess we could think of a few things that might work," said Fred with a cheerfully evil grin. "Don't worry about doing all of the work though. We've been looking for an excuse to do something to Snape since he gave us that monster essay on Undetectable Potions."

Neville grinned in relief. "It has to be something really mean, though, and preferably something that makes him look foolish in front of everyone."

"Okay," said Fred. "We'll work on it and let you know what we come up with."

Saying goodbye to them, Neville scampered off to Herbology, one of his favorite classes. He always enjoyed working with the plants, because they never made him feel stupid or embarrassed in front of his classmates. Of course, he was sure that no one in Gryffindor wanted to make him feel stupid or clumsy, but Harry Potter was so famous, and Hermione Granger was so smart, and Ron Weasley was so funny. Somehow, he'd ended up being friends with them, and that seemed to be getting him through most of his classes.

After supper that night, Fred and George cornered Neville at one end of the Common Room. 

"We found some charms and potions that we can use, but we didn't know what kind of effect you wanted," explained George, handing Neville a large stack of parchments.

"The Parvulus Charm makes you shrink," said Fred gleefully. "If you say what part of the body you want to shrink, then the shrinking will only happen there."

Neville perked up slightly. "so could we shrink his nose?"

"Wait, we aren't finished," said Fred quickly. "We also found the Sedens Curse. It makes you sit. Or at least, until someone takes the time to perform the counter curse, which takes nearly an hour to complete."

"Can we combine them?" asked Neville eagerly.

"Wow, you're really mad at him." said George in slight awe. "Of course you can combine them, but you still have to get the potion into something that he will drink. That will involve getting into the kitchen or putting it into his water pitcher during class."

"But I don't want just the Potions class to see him shrink and stick to his chair," said Neville unhappily. "Is there any way I could delay it so it would take effect at dinner?"

"There is, but it's rather complicated," said Fred hesitantly. "Hermione might be able to tell you how to do that, but how do you know that she won't tell Snape what you're doing?"

"Hermione likes Potions, but she dislikes Snape almost as much as he dislikes Harry," Neville assured them. "She'll probably help."

**********************************

"Are you INSANE???!!!!!!" Hermione almost shrieked. "You could get expelled from Hogwarts for doing something like that?"

"No I'm not," said Neville calmly. "I'm sick of Snape embarrassing me in front of the whole class. He's going to see what it feels like now."

Neville presented it so logically that Hermione found herself actually wanting to help him. Besides, he seemed so pitiful, especially when most people thought that he was practically a Squib. _What am I thinking?_ she asked herself._ This is a major rule that he's talking about breaking. Harry and Ron never did anything this bad._

Against her better judgement, she agreed to help him. They decided that Neville would get the ingredients for the potion and Hermione would mix it up. It would take effect at dinner the next evening.

**********************************

Neville was quietly eating his supper when an angry roar silenced the chattering students in the Great Hall.

"What is going on?" Snape yelled angrily. "My nose is shrinking!"

Dumbledore frowned, rubbing his chin. "Severus, it would appear to me that your nose is shrinking. I believe you have been the victim of an improperly mixed butterbeer."

"Someone cursed me!" Snape shouted, enraged and embarrassed. "It was Potter!"

"Severus, no third year student would have the magical expertise to perform a curse that advanced," said McGonagall, always the voice of reason. "My guess is that you simply have too much of your medicine mixed with your drink:

Snape tried to stand, and succeeded….somewhat. "What is going on?" he shouted, his face slowly turning the color of a ripe plum.

"When Mars and Jupiter are aligned, there is an increased tendency to stick to chairs," Madame Trelawny intoned, trying to sound spooky.

"Shut up!" Snape bellowed, trying (and failing, much to the amusement of all the students,) to pry himself loose from the chair.

Meanwhile, the students watched in awe. No one seemed to be very unhappy to see Snape in such distress (unless you count the Slytherins). They had never seen their Potions professor this upset before, and they were all wondering who could do something that powerful.

Hermione was quietly smiling to herself and watching the results of her handiwork._ I could get used to seeing this_, she thought. _Especially if they think that students can't do magic that advanced._

Fred and George were ecstatic with the results. Never in their wildest dreams had they thought that Hermione was capable of causing such distress to anyone, especially a teacher. 

"Maybe we should see if she wants to help with our joke shop," Fred suggested, only half-joking.

"You know that she'll tell Mum as soon as she finds out," George replied. "Too bad, though, she probably could have helped a lot. Pity she's such a goody-goody."

*****************************

In Potions the next morning, Dumbledore was the teacher. 

"Professor Snape has decided to take a sabbatical for the rest of the year," he said gravely. 

"What's a sabbatical?" hissed Ron to Hermione.

"It means he won't be here for the rest of the year," Hermione hissed back. "Honestly, don't you ever read?"

"However, he will be returning next year, as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Dumbledore finished.

Amid the complaints and groans of the Gryffindors and the cheers of the Slytherins, Hermione grinned widely. "_Imagine how much fun Defense Against the Dark Arts is going to be next year_," she thought. "_I wonder if I can get some books out of the Forbidden Section of the library._"


End file.
